


Fate.

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Canon Era, M/M, i wrote this in three hours and it's not even that long oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 20:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6393403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fate had never been kind to them, now is no exception.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fate.

Alexander knows early on in his relationship with John Laurens that it will not last long. The Revolution is too greedy, the risk too great, for something as sinful as this affair to carry on without consequence. Still, knowing this, he decides to endeavor into it anyway.

They meet in 1777 when spring begins turning into summer before they can even register that spring was even there to begin with. They're living in a time where fast friendships are the only kind you can make, everything moving at such a quick pace that making any friendships at all is impressive. It is when Alexander looks into Laurens' eyes as he's shaking his hand that he realizes something is about to happen. Something akin to an electric shock surges down his spine. It makes his hands tingle and his palms sweaty, something he hopes John doesn't notice.

"Alexander Hamilton," Alex breathes out, almost a whisper.

"John Laurens, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine."

Something is happening.

John, Alex thinks, is one of the most beautiful things he has ever seen. His tanned skin and dark freckles that dot across his face are enough to charm Alex, but the bow of his lips and the words that come from them are the final nails in a coffin that Alexander is far too young to fall in. Of course, he doesn't plan to tell John this. He doesn't need more opportunities to be killed. They're in the middle of a war, for Christ's sake.

Something is happening.

Alexander hides his emotions well, something he has learned to master over the years. So it comes as a shock when John tells him one late autumn that his affections are obvious, that his letters are just few of the many things that reveal his true thoughts. Alex is quick to apologize. He tries to explain that he had never intended this, that he hadn't asked to be so taken with him. Laurens kisses him then and there, knowing that one of Washington's soldiers can come bustling into the tent at any given moment. The problem that should have stopped him then and a million times after that, is that he doesn't care.

John doesn't care when the shadow of someone standing outside of their tent submerges them in darkness. He doesn't push Alex away, only breaks their kiss to smile dangerously at him. Alex looks into his eyes, seeing the fire of someone fervently eager for the rage of war while managing to be so wild in his ardor. Alex is falling.

It is a risky beginning. They are inexperienced in the art of secrecy, amateurs in their crime. They eventually find a way to indulge in each other without as much chance of getting caught. When Alexander is angry yet again at his lack of a command, John is always there, either in person or on paper. Alex does not get to be picky about how he gets to contact John, that being reserved for any girls who might decide to love him.

It's in 1778 when Alex finds out. There's a letter for John, but he isn't around. Alexander volunteers to take it, innocently thinking that it could be from his father. It's when he sees the name _Martha Manning Laurens_ written in a beautiful scrawl across the corner of the envelope that his whole world comes crashing down. There's a fire burning in his brain. The mirage that they they would be free in their love for the time being makes him feel naive and foolish. When he slams the letter down on John's desk later that night, it's with tears in his eyes. John is silent for a second.

"Alexander, please."

"How could you not tell me? I have told you of my past, of things that nobody knows about me, and yet you refrain to tell me this,"

"I do not love her, Alexander. I was trying to prove something to myself, and in the process of doing so, she had fallen pregnant. I found myself unable to allow her to be the subject to the ridicule of being an unmarried mother, so I wed her. Our daughter's name is Frances."

Alexander is reminded of his own mother, of his father. Even now, John proves to be just as amazing as when Alex first fell for him. His breath evens out, tears drying. John looks him in eyes, a question. Alex nods. John crosses the ground and pulls the shorter man into his arms. An empty sob rakes its way through Alex's chest. They're fine. As fine as they can be.

That same year, two days before Christmas, John duels Charles Lee. Alexander kisses him in their tent before they move out to the field. Laurens looks at Alex at paces two through six, coming to the conclusion that this could very well be his demise. Alas, it isn't, and John's bullet rips into his rival's side before he has the chance to fire. The two men run across the field to observe the damage, blood thrumming in their veins as quickly as it pours out of Charles Lee. They glance to one another for a moment, a promise. They'll celebrate later.

In 1780, they're not so fine anymore. The fall of Charlestown is one the worst one of the Revolution, and Laurens falls as a victim. He's held hostage in Philidelphia. Alexander tries to get Washington to allow him to go to John, but he is denied. Alex doesn't sleep much during that time. When John returns to him in November, Alex spends the whole day crying into his chest.

In the winter, Alexander meets Elizabeth Schuyler. He would be lying if he said he did not love her. Alex assures John that while his love for Eliza is true, his love for John is still burning just as violently as when it had first been ignited. He marries her three weeks after he meets her. John tries not to feel angry.

  
When Alexander comes back for the first time after being married, the only thing that changes is the amount of letters Hamilton recieves. He still treats John with the same amount of adoration as before. Alex assures him that his marriage does not change things. They are still them, and that's what they shall remain as long as fate lets them.

They are running out of time.

When Laurens leaves for France, Hamilton is restless. He writes an infinite amount of letters to him, letting the ocean that seperates them flood his well being. He tries not to let it, he does have a wife after all. Knowing that Eliza doesn't deserve to have her husband be as isolated from her as he is without an explanation, he tells her of John. He does not explain everything, refusing to admit to a capital offense to his own wife in his own home, but he tells her enough. He tells her in the hope that maybe she will accept that as an excuse, even though it shouldn't justify his actions. She understands. Eliza holds him close, and she is enough.

They are running out of time.

When they win the Battle of Yorktown, Alex is elated. He is standing in a trench on the grounds of a new country. He has a preganant wife at home who is still worried about her husband and if he will live through this fight that has already been won. He has John in South Carolina who is still fighting on the front lines, not having heard the news. In this moment, he is on top of a world turned upside down.

They are running out of time.

It's 1782. The summer is in its hottest days, and Alexander feels wrong.

When he gets the letter on his desk from Henry Laurens, he doesn't want to open it. He has seen letters like this. He has seen them written to Washington, to other soldiers at his camp. He has written letters like this. He opens it slowly, tears already stinging his eyes. The tears fall on the first words. He is shocked he even received this letter, considering that nobody else knew what he truly was to John. He expected to never find out, to always live in the speculation that John Laurens is still coming home. He throws the letter away.

Fate had been kind to never get them caught, but even she is not that kind without payment.

Alexander has always been poor man.

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY FOR NOT WRITING ANYTHING IN SO LONG IM TRYING TO WRITE THE OT4 MEETS HERCULES' PARENTS OVER EASTER THING BUT ITS NOT HAPPENING THE WAY I WANT IT SO HAVE THIS LMAO


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